YES!! Another list.. I KNOW IT'S CRAZINESS!! Good thing Joe is out of town or I would DEFINITELY be hearing the sound of duct tape and him muttering something about sticking me in the back seat and driving until he found someone that could help me!! HAHAHAHA!
This summer we have done quite a few weddings and have seen some really GREAT bridesmaids and maids or matrons of honors and then we have seen some yeah not so much. What I'm going to try and do here is list some things that EVERY Bridesmaid should do!! It's not JUST for the Maid or Matron of Honor to bear the brunt anymore. The BRIDE ask you all to be a part of her IN crowd and it's a great time to be intimately involved in a very special time of her life!
1 - Be HAPPY!!!!
If she's the type of bride who relishes planning every last detail of the big day, and sharing those details with you over texts, shopping excursions, or shared Pinterest boards, you should indulge her, even when it feels like a bit much.
2 - Don’t Be Too Honest.
I don't care if the Bride asks for your opinion!!! Unless you think she’s going off the edge into Tacky or just HORRIBLE SPEEDO-CLAD GROOM judgment territory! Be sure tell her that all her decisions around the wedding details sound JUST AWESOME!!
3 - Do Make Plans Offline.
I can't tell you HOW many times I've seen and over heard BAD blood has happened because someone had had hurt feelings because something was misconstrued or taken the wrong way from an email, text, or instant message. Pick UP THE PHONE and CALL when you need to talk about the shower, bachelorette party, dress shopping, wedding schedules, makeup schedules, etc. Set up coffee meet ups SOMETHING!!! AND FOR GOODNESS SAKES DO NOT EVER TYPE or SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE about the bride OR anyone in the bridal party that can be taken the wrong way than you might have meant it to be!! If you have to get something off your chest do it to someone that has NO clue who any of the people involved are.
4 - Do become friends with the other Bridesmaids.
If you are not friends with any of the other girls/guys.. (Hey you never know!! I have had both sexes as bridesmaids!!) MAKE FRIENDS!!! If the bride thought highly enough of you all to bring you all together in her special time, then respect her judgement and GIVE it a WHIRL!!! Besides, you more than likely will be seeing one another for at least the next few months!
5 - Share the Weight!
Gone are the days where it's all on the Maid or Matron of Honor who plans and bears all the weight of planning everything!!! Yes, she's usually still the leader of the group, but not always!!! She might not be able to do that, she might be coming from out of town, or have a job that doesn't allow her the time to spear head all the plans. I strongly suggest that having a meeting with all the Bridesmaids once they're all set and deciding the leader/coordinator is essential!! Then dividing up the jobs from there is easy! Have one bridesmaid start planning the shower, another start planning the bachelorette party, another helping with the dress fitting scheduling, etc..etc.. Doing it this way is SO much easier and NO one feels overwhelmed. Even then if someone DOES starts to feel like they are getting overwhelmed, they don't feel like they can't ask someone to help!!
6 - MAKE A BUDGET!- AND STICK TO IT!!!
Like the Wedding itself being a bridesmaid can be EXPENSIVE!! HOLY SMOKES!!! CAN IT EVER!! If you have to pay for an EXPENSIVE bridesmaid dress that's a HUGE expense, then if the bride is expecting a bachelorette party to end all parties you can be out some major cash!!! I would make sure you as a GROUP be HONEST with your bride and go to her with your budget and tell her what it takes to put on the events and find out what one is the most important one. So you all can focus the funds on the right one and go small on the other ones.
7 - WEDDING DAY - BE PRESENT!!
As photographers, we're behind the scenes and as we said at the beginning of this we have seen some of the BEST bridesmaids EVER and some yeahnotsomuch...... We have seen some that were there for the bride for her every time she turned around!! I really think there was one that would have tackled any speed-clad photobomber that might have popped up!! And then there have been a few that were either were more concerned with how they looked, taking selfies, doing their makeup, etc.. etc.. than they were helping the bride.
My last words of advice here are:
Think of yourself as an extension of the bride because that is essentially what you are. You are helping her and her family HOST this wedding
DO NOT DRINK more than 1 alcoholic drink BEFORE the CEREMONY!!
STAY where the bride can see you or you can see the bride!! So if she needs you to help her to make a quick getaway you are there to assist! (Remember our friendly Speed-clad photobomber? yeah.. he might have an overly friendly Aunt Edna that likes to talk.. a lot)
Let the staff at the event hall or the wedding coordinator that they can come to you if they need if they have issues or questions so they don't have to interrupt the bride.
After the toasts, first dance, Father/Daughter dance, and the Mother/Son dance is done.. Get after it .. Throw you hands in the air like you just don't care.. and Party on!!!!!
Hope this helps any bridesmaid who didn't know what to do....
Now.. I will duck for cover and run.. before Joe finds me when he gets home and sees that I did yet another list post hahahaha!
Love, Light, and Blessings to you and yours